piglet

blyss finally sent christmas.  i have new books.  and a headache.  i think it has to do with the funky snow we are getting.  and the low clouds. 

the hearing on the 31st had been cancelled when we went downtown on tuesday.  we did go.  just in case bio dad decided not to cancel, and screw us over.  amante took the day off work and we were only there about ten minutes.  the lady at the window was really nice.  said that they were gonna schedule a termination hearing. 

mr. lawyer told us later that day that he had heard from bio dad.  that was comforting.   it helps to not be the only one hearing from him.  we decided to go on our own from now on, and sent the adoption paperwork yesterday.  the termination hearing is next, then the home inspection for the adoption, and then the paperwork gets signed.  then we are go for launch.  the mixed feeling i was having about the whole thing last week is starting to subside.  amante called me ‘strong’ on tuesday. i don’t feel strong, but he says i am.  i can see it better after reading this out of ‘the te of piglet’:

     Piglets, living in fear of What’s Coming Next, What Can Go Wrong, What If I Do Something Foolish, and such, cannot enjoy and make the most of the present moment.  Later, they look back and realize that they didn’t live it.  And that realization makes them feel more inadequate than they already did.  However, because of their sensitivites, their strong experience-filing-and-recalling memories, and their cautious, one-step-at-a-time natures, Piglets–far more than Eeyores and Tiggers, Rabbits and Owls–have the ability to rise to a challenge and accomplish the most difficult tasks, once interfering illusions have been cleared away.

i guess what i am getting at is that amante is right.  when something needs doing, i can do it, no matter how afraid i am.  fear is not something i am going to let stand in my way. 

miss bella finished school in record time today.  she is finally getting into the swing of things, and i am proud to say that she is almost done with math for third grade.  we are beginning to find a rhythm to our days and our learning.  we bought more curriculum on tues… and i have figured out how to make everything she is doing get done at the same time in june.  she can actually see her progress, where in the traditional classroom, i don’t think she felt like she was getting anywhere. 

the other nite when she was in town, my aunt was sure to tell us not to get too far outside of a regular schedule in case bella ever needs to go back to ‘regular’ school.  it was hard not to get defensive.  i don’t think there is much that could make me go back at this point, and my aunt is too traditional to understand that.  bella loves what we are doing.  it lets her be herself.

and that’s enough for this piglet.

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~ by Erin on 1 February, 2007.

3 Responses to “piglet”

  1. This post makes me sad because I love God’s Word so very much, and study it daily. Do you ask the Holy Spirit to speak through it to you? Sometimes, we don’t want to hear His correction, and that can block us from getting anything out of Scripture. Other times, we want it to be all about us, not all about Him. (I fall into that trap.) Please don’t give up. Keep reading! Scripture is a treasure!

  2. Sorry–I commented on the wrong post. I meant to comment on the post about the Bible not being relevent to you.

  3. that’s ok… i knew what you meant. thanks for the encouragement.

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